leaned against a wall.

so last night i leaned against a wall in my living room and almost died.

she never showed up like she had promised me she would, so i sat at the dining room table picking over a dried out filet of whiting and sipping wine through a straw while j. holiday made his voice rise and fall.

i was pissed.

between slurping the last drop of pinot from the flute and tuning out the guy with the panty-dropping voice,, my hand found it's way to my zipper. to the dick hole. to the dick.

how sad would this night end if i began stroking my erection at my dinner table over a piece of dried fish and few african violets?

i stood up. i'm not sur eif it was laziness or pure love of my dick, but i let it swing as i walked to my silenced phone and began cruising the texts for a certain message i hoped would still be there.

'i hope you don't mind me going off subject, but i thought i'd hit you up. you and me should kick it sometime soon. hit me up if you down for it.'

and like that, the promise-breaker was forgotten and this messenger was the thought of the night...and if shit goes right...the morning.

i responded to the 3 day old message.

after the alarm beeps, doorbell buzzes, and mandatory exchanges of 'hello' i found myself pressed against a wall, his tongue pressed against my teeth and my dick pressed against the inside of my jeans, wishing i would have left it out.

my breath felt short each time he flicked his tongue on my ear lobe.
my hand felt small each time it gripped his dick through his pants.
my heart almost exploded.

i blinked. when my eyes were opened, i realized my shirt lay on the back of the recliner and my pants were under the couch. my socks were still on and my boxer briefs were between his teeth, slowly descending to the hard wood floors.

my back found unfamiliar spots on the wall and arched with the coolness of them. the only light shining existed from the other side of the partially opened blinds. i needed someone outside to see this, because i needed this to be real.

the heat escaping from his mouth and his body made me shut my eyes and remember everything that's good in life and hope for everything good to come.

the head of my dick found it's way through the entrance of my mouth and went straight for the back. repeatedly. any flies that hung around, sitting on the walls would have figured i was an absolute dummy. all i could say was 'damn.'

a small puddle of saliva began gathering on the floor as he took control of what i gave him full ownership of for a limited time.

i wanted him to have hair so i could grab a hold of something. so i beat on the wall a few times.

he began picking up speed, sucking and sliding my dick in and out to a non-existent beat.
he began swirling around the head, then take it all in.

how did he know this was what i loved?

my knees began to wobble and my voice began to faulter and i was no good.

'i'm close.'

he kept going as though he hadn't heard me.
i grabbed his shoulder and squeezed and i created a flood in the heat of his mouth.

i stood there as if pinned between a tree and a 15-passenger van.
this gorgeous black man with the body of a prison yard god slid my dick from his mouth after his tongue searched for anything extra he may have forgotten.

my heart may have exploded.

my right leg gave out and the two of us found ourselves eye-to-eye.

this was my first time seeing his eyes.
this much, i regretted.

me leaning against the wall with my dick in his mouth was beautiful
but me on my knees looking him in the eyes was love.
damn.

last night i leaned against a wall and almost died.